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The Victim Mindset

It’s upsetting how many people play small with their lives, and it is not because they don’t want to achieve more and strive for greatness. But because of their victim mentality, their conditioning, their programming (often throughout childhood). This mindset would hold anyone back.

This victim mindset will make you feel as though you are struggling financially, professionally, personally (+in relationships). It will make you feel unhappy and unfulfilled. Blaming others for your current circumstances or blaming your past and allowing that to dictate your future gives away all of your power of control. You are the only person responsible for your life. And whilst some people don’t want to hear a hard truth, the beauty in that is that you also get to choose to change your current circumstances to create the life you want. If you don’t like where you are – move. Don’t over complicate it. 

Your actions and your habits will stem from what you believe about yourself, so you need to change that internal monologue. Notice the way that you speak to or about yourself. The way you speak to yourself is powerful and it will reflect in your day to day life. Manifestation simplified. If you always think negative thoughts you will attract negativity (not in a woo woo way) but what you’re looking for you’ll find. If you look for more white cars… you’ll see more white cars. Not because there are more on the road but because of what you’re focussing on and tuning into.

Be wary of what you are allowing into your life, you will become like the people that you surround yourself with. Notice who is throwing logs on your fire and who is holding you back. Negative people will drain the life out of you. Notice what you are listening to and make sure it is positive, motivating and inspiring. Turn off the news. Turn off down beat music. You’ll be surprised how much of a shift in mood you will have.

Become aware of the narrative that dictates your life choices and make a vow to change that. Take ownership for the decisions that you make. The victim mindset comes from the stories that we tell ourselves, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I can’t lose weight’, ‘My relationships always fail’, ‘I’ll never be rich’. When we delve deeper into those stories there is an underlying theme of blame – ‘my parents never had any money’, ‘we have a family history of obesity’. ‘My husband left me’, ‘I’ve always been this way’ ‘I was born into a poor family’. These stories that we tell ourselves give validation to the excuses that we give which stop us from achieving more.

If you keep telling yourself ‘I’ll never be rich because I was born into a poor family’ then you avoid the opportunities that you are faced with that would create a better money flow too. You charge less for services (which is connected to a low self worth). You are not a victim of your past! Your bank account is a direct reflection of your spending habits. Everything in your bank account is a result of how much you earn, and how much you spend. So simplify it. It’s not your past, you have the power to do whatever you want to do – it’s a choice that you make. Spend less or find another job that pays more, or both… but this is not a reflection of what you were born into. Take ownership of your own life

You want to lose weight? Move more. Calories in vs calories out. Simplify everything. It’s not always the family you were born into. It’s about being consistent. Change your eating habits, workout more. Set goals and achieve them.

When you start blaming everyone else for your circumstances then you give away your power. Take that power back. Take control of your own life. Hold yourself responsible and accountable for everything. It’s on you. You get to choose what routines you have. The habits you have. The decisions you make. Your life right now is a reflection of all of the decisions you’ve ever made, and you get to change your future too. So get out of your own way. 

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How to hold yourself accountable

A question I get asked a lot, often from complete beginners, is around the topic of staying consistent. How to plan their day around a consistent yoga practice. This is not always solely beginners but sometimes as my yogis move up through the levels they feel as though they have ‘fallen off the wagon’.

Often times we embark on a new journey with great intentions. We set a goal (sometimes a little too generic – for example ‘to be more flexible’) and, after what you feel is a strong start you might then wonder why it is that you have slowly started to drift off?

It is not enough sometimes to simply set a goal. We need to be more specific. You want to be more flexible? Ok – but that’s pretty generic. In which areas? How much? Will you be happy if you can just move a mm closer to touching your toes? How are you going to monitor your progress? What will it look like when you get there? Do you work well with rewarding your achievements? Why do you want to be more flexible? Will it help you with better mobility or do you just want to have splits as a party trick at Christmas get togethers?

There are plenty of different things we can implement to help hold ourselves accountable. But I think figuring out your reason why you are doing something, is a good place to start. Get more specific. This will then help you later on down the line too, when you need to remind yourself of the reason why you started. Or to look back and see how far you’ve come.

Suggestions that might help…


1. Schedule your yoga practice in to your week just like you would an appointment. You probably have a good idea already of what your working week looks like, so find a couple of hours where you can fit your yoga practice in. There’s no right or wrong time, you are more likely to stick to something the easier it is. So don’t say you’ll do yoga at 7pm every day if you know you’ll be disrupted or running around putting your children to bed. Set a time and stick to it. You wouldn’t cancel a doctors appointment, so treat your yoga practice the same and show up on time.

2. Post about it on Social Media. It sounds crazy, but it helps. Putting it out there that you are committing to 4 weeks of yoga and sharing it with other people means you’re less likely to quit half way through.

3. Make it easy. How can you make it easier for yourself? Can you roll out your mat ready the night before? Put your yoga clothes next to your bed so you can put them straight on and be ready? Have a water bottle already made up and ready in the fridge. Think about anything that will be a slight hurdle or hindrance and try to get rid of any of those obstacles.

4. Put it on your ‘to do’ list. Write a list the night before of everything you want to achieve the next day. As mentioned above, like posting on social media, sometimes by writing it down somewhere it helps you to commit to the things you’ve set yourself to do

5. Set an alarm on your phone. Or set a reminder to send you a notification 15 minutes before your scheduled practice. This will remind you that when your alarm goes off that you promised yourself, at the time you set that alarm, to do your yoga practice. Often we can get caught up making dinner, walking the dog or just lazing around on the sofa watching Netflix. Setting an alarm helps to remind you if you get caught up doing something else that it’s near to the scheduled time.

6. Take progress photos. If you commit yourself to four weeks of yoga twice a week, then it’s highly likely that you will have gained flexibility over this time. By taking photos at the beginning of the course you set yourself a starting point which you know after four weeks you will then be comparing it against.

7. Reward yourself. If you work well with rewards then it’s a good way to also incentivise yourself on the days you might need an extra push. Set mini targets and reward yourself each time you hit them.

8. Remind yourself why you started. This is why it is important to set more specific goals and also understand why you chose to do the course. If you decided to take up yoga because you wanted to gain more flexibility or have some time to yourself, then whatever it was, you can re-visit that at a later date if you start drifting off from your practice.

9. Mindset – Whenever you say you’re not going to do your yoga practice try saying ‘it’s not a priority for me’. See how this feels. If taking time for yourself is ‘not a priority’ or hitting your goals is ‘not a priority’ – the language you use can have a change in mindset. Saying this out loud sometimes makes you realise that actually, it should be a priority!

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VEGAN-UARY, @TwoRawSouls

Last year I learnt to be so open minded, to educate myself on topics I never knew about. Or even on subjects I ‘thought’ I knew so much about. How I went 27 years not knowing that cows don’t produce milk all year round that’s embarrassing 😳 😂

‘dairy cows are artificially inseminated’ Well… that’s a line I wasn’t expecting to read. #wtfmoment

Anyway, New challenge: Here’s to DAY ONE of Vegan-uary. A whole month of meat free, dairy free food. I’ll be the first to admit I always thought vegans were a little crazy.

( I mean, does this mean I need to add it in my bio 🙊 yeah mandatory – it’s happening)

I’ve never been a huge meat eater, I stopped drinking cows milk ages ago, and I’ve been an on/off vegetarian for a while, simply because I feel healthier when I load my plate with veggies and cut out the meat …but we all know I love a poached egg so veganism was never something I wanted to understand.

This past year I’ve found myself hungry to learn a bit more about what I’m eating and where my food is coming from. It’s not often I’d ever even read the food labels! Anyone that’s watched Netflix documentaries; cowspiracy, forks over knives, vegucated… the list goes on. I mean make your own choices, always. But I feel personally I’ve been ignorant to what’s going on in the world, be that our health system, sustainability, animal cruelty… and I want to start making better choices.

Everyone’s going to have mixed views on all of these things, Veganism being an often misunderstood lifestyle choice. But I’ve realised how awful I’ve been to ever eye roll at any vegan – So, Dear Vegans, I’m sorry!

How can we judge anyone that’s only trying to do their best for a healthy lifestyle, for a better planet and for a better life for animals?

I’ve been lucky enough to meet some likeminded people in 2017. (Natalie being one of those.) Bonding over our love of yoga, food and self development books we sat down for brunch one day and decided to support each other in Vegan-uary, both taking on the challenge and will be blogging about our journey along the way. Instagram: @tworawsouls

I’m no angel, I know I’m going to find this difficult. Mostly from a lazy point of view, being vegan isn’t convenient when you can’t just reach for the nearest piece of food. But I love a challenge. I’m looking forward to educating myself along the way, I can’t promise I’m going to be able to see this through after January but I’m going to give it my all.

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Get comfy. Long post right here! I’m sure many of you are rolling your eyes back into another dimension wishing that I just quickly tagged ‘check it out’, so feel free to scroll down and skip over my blog, but for those of you that do want to listen, here is a bit more depth into what this post really means to me.

If I’ve learnt anything over the past few months it’s that it’s ok to be a little bit vulnerable. So, here we go.

Many people will tell you when you leave the corporate world, that you’re brave, and maybe to some extent that’s true – but what I can tell you is

you need to be completely and utterly fearless!

When I decided to use my qualification and teach classes I was terrified. I doubted myself, and kept telling myself ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’ve never taught a class before’, ‘what if I get it wrong’, ‘what if no one shows up’, ‘maybe nobody will like it’. I was genuinely so afraid. I was afraid because it was new. Afraid because it was something I had never done before. Afraid simply because it was outside of my comfort zone. And I was completely alone in this. I had no one to guide me through it, so my only option was to step down or step up.

My immediate response, was to back out of it. I thought ‘well maybe I should just wait a bit longer. Wait until I’m ready’… but what would I be waiting for? Ultimately I knew deep down that I was trying to put it off and actually this feeling of fear was only a result of stepping outside of my comfort zone. I knew I wasn’t going to be physically hurt, or that I was in danger. It was just a stupid fear of getting something wrong, being a disappointment to myself, along with being judged by others.

So I realised it was ridiculous. that I was being ridiculous and if I didn’t try then I would never get anywhere further in life. And as for people judging – people will judge you regardless. It’s none of my business what others think about me.

And it was that day that I told myself

‘whenever there’s something that I’m really scared of, then whatever that thing is, that’s exactly what I’m going to do’

so I found a venue for my classes, set a date and the rest is history…


So why am I telling you this now?

What does this have to do with this post? – Because I still get that anxiety and fear whenever I start something new, but now I know how to manage it, and I revert back to:

‘step out of your comfort zone, because nothing ever grows there!’

So, here’s to levelling up and stepping out of my comfort zone as I hit my next fear…

I’m not going to lie I am cringing SO hard at myself. I’ve contemplated not posting this yoga video simply because it’s not perfect. I keep watching parts like ‘damn my posture is so bad in some of the positions’ and ‘my voice is irritating’. We all do it don’t we from time to time, find a flaw in a photo or a blog post and then disregard it because it’s not ‘perfect’ or we’re worried of what other people might think.

So I’m staying true to myself. I am not striving for perfection. I can make improvements for future posts.

Because if you wait to be ‘ready’ or for ‘perfection’ then you’re just wasting time.

So I hope that this might be a way to show you how I deal with my imperfections. And believe it or not I’m not only posting this for me. So many times I’m asked when I’ll be creating a You Tube channel for when yogis can’t make classes. So here it is… and I’m sorry that it took so long.



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Life Lessons

by Elle

Looking back over the past few months I’ve learnt a lot. Most of it has come from just simply being aware. Even some of the simplest things in life that are right in front of your face, that are complete and utter common sense, that you know you should change, but for some reason at the time they are completely overlooked, so you disregard them and you carry on anyway. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and look at what’s going on in our lives. Here’s some of my core values.


1. Keep Your Standards High


Your standards become a direct reflection of yourself. Soon you begin to attract like minded people who notice that they share your values and expectations. They respect you, because you respect yourself. You start to notice that you’re moving in a direction towards getting what you truly want in life, because you never settled for anything less than what you set out to achieve in the first place.


It doesn’t matter what aspect of life you apply this to, whatever you choose to do – do it with integrity and standards.


Apply those high standards to all areas of your life including your relationships. Don’t invest your time and efforts in someone that doesn’t give you 100% back. Do you not think that you deserve more than that? Do you not value yourself?


2. Create a strong support network
Surround yourself with people that will drive you forward, that will motivate you, lift you up, support and encourage you. People that want to see you do well, that care about you and believe in you.


It’s said that you become most like the people that you spend your time with so hang out with people that inspire you too! Embrace the amazing friends that you have around you and don’t ever be afraid to let go of the ones that suck the life out of you. You’ll soon notice the ‘friends’ that don’t clap when you’re doing well. They’re probably not on your support network… Get rid


3. Step out of your comfort zone
Nothing good ever came from comfort zones! Branch out and do more. We all have 24hrs in the day. How you choose to spend that time is completely up to you.
That thing you’re scared of? Do that. Face your fears and go beyond, because your fears are your limitations to your goals.


4. The universe owes you absolutely nothing.
So what did you do in life to do absolutely no hard work and reap all of the rewards? (Get back in your box.) You’re going to have to put some work in. Input is output, don’t expect to receive back that which you did not put in.

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